What do computers, air conditioners and space stations have in common?

They don't work if you open windows

It would be that easy, if not for "please approve login on your microsoft authenticator app" step which means i also have to pull out my phone, unlock it, find the stupid app and then type in the code

Ah that's why i couldn't relate to it, I've only ever had 54 gallon drums of solvents in my lab

"did you pack this bag yourself?"
"Yes?"
"Then why is there a tactical nuclear warhead in the left pocket?"
"Ah shucks"

Just do it two more times, duh

I thought those were quite robust, i heard of one being submerged to a depth of 3840 meters and surviving

Oh i was already doing one of those actually

I like my distance estimates the way i like my toilet paper

rough

Oh i was already doing one of those actually

I'm outside, holding my phone to scroll Lemmy, without gloves

I can with absolute confidence tell you that the coldest thing in the known universe is not some quantum chip, it's my fingers

Oh hi Wendy did you know this is a crunch Santa Cecilia granite benchtop? crunch crunch

You don't even need substances, if you just lie down for a while you'll black out for like 8 hours

Less reliable but way cheaper than chemical blackouts

I'm out on a walk, listening to a podcast, and scrolling Lemmy...

I'm still short 2 forms of distraction, but i'm running out of senses to overstimulate!

A pile of money on fire

And then Apple refusing to repair it due to "water damage"

"In the year 2147, technology has given humans abilities beyond the natural senses, it has given them... eyes."

No but humans typically do

Uh, that's what he said wasn't it?

An NP-hard water problem?

Our schedules never line up so maybe we'll start a game together on launch day, but we'll probably end up playing through the new content separately

But we will for sure be talking about nothing else for a good while

Are you sure? That flame is awfully close to the floof