The wife just told me my son isn't really mine.
https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1g69jjt/the_wife_just_told_me_my_son_isnt_really_mine/This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2024-10-18 04:02:06+00:00.
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Local_Ad6379
Originally posted to r/Marriage
The wife just told me my son isn't really mine.
Editor’s Note: added paragraph breaks for readability
Trigger Warnings: infidelity
Original Post: October 10, 2024
I've always read posts similar to this and thought, whew glad that's not me and now it is.
Me (44M) and wife (41f) have been together 12 years and have a 2.5 year old boy who is amazing. After some suspicious behavior I start asking some questions and finally she comes clean and says he isn't mine.
Now divorce is obvious but how do I go on? I feel like a glorified babysitter. I don't know if i can afford to move out and live on my own after just buying a house together a few years ago.
The real father is her trainer from the gym (what a fucking cliche) who now lives in another state.I feel lost
Relevant Comments
OOP responds to multiple comments on getting a paternity test done
OOP: Thank you. I wouldn't have thought of that.
She [Wife] wants me to still raise him and I love him to pieces but part of me just wants to head for the hills
I'm definitely getting the test and I'm still hoping that somehow he's mine. But I can't count on that
Does OOP believe his son might be his?
OOP: He's always had moms face and what I thought were my features (lips, eyelashes, eyebrows, hair) maybe that's what I wanted to believe
Did OOP’s wife ever going to tell him the truth about her trips and the possibility of OOP not being the father
OOP: She was never going to tell me, I found out cuz she told me she was going on a girl's trip and Lyft told me where she really was. The bio father doesn't know.
I asked to look through her phone and emails to see if what she was telling me could be backed up and she refused. So there's more she's hiding and at this point I know all I need to know she's not right for me.
Update: October 11, 2024
I don't know if I'm doing this right but yesterday I made a post with this title so I hope people see it.
First off THANK YOU everyone that took time to read and offer support and advice and kindness. It truly is heartwarming to see the world and Internet isn't all shit. I am still suffering beyond belief but I am better 24 hours later. I was a mess and then I had to leave for work.
When I got home my son was waiting and screamed daddy and right away I knew I was gonna be with him forever. I had contemplated leaving forever and a lot of dark thoughts I won't get into.
If I leave, at only 2.5 years old he'll adapt and forget eventually but I will not. So he's my son, I'm his daddy and everything else will work itself out one way or the other. I was in a truly dark, dangerous place and this community brought me out. Thank you
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: Update us in 10-15 years when the kid decides he wants to establish a connection with his bio dad and all of your sacrifice for him meant nothing.
OOP: By then I'll have had 15 years of good times with him and I can say I did my best
Commenter 2: So what are you gonna do about your marriage? Because that has to end..
OOP: I'm gonna talk to a lawyer and see what my options are, I don't know yet.
OOP getting therapy in order to make sure he has made the healthy decisions on his marriage and his son
OOP: Definitely need therapy I agree there. But this kid is not gonna learn how to wipe his ass without me so I gotta stick with him. I think eventually I can make a new life but my son needs me