This issue still makes me real sad even after five years..

I discovered her in 2017 on Youtube. She later deleted her channel and I just cant take it.. For me its the best channel that I ever discovered.. I really admired her.. At one point I tried to search to understand what happened behind the scenes but I could never find a single piece of info regarding her disappearance. I would highly appreciate if someone could lead me to an archive of her videos or something, since I never saved anything.. Is anyone out there in the same boat as I am?