Ask Steven Seagal

Ask Steven Seagal StevenSeagal • 4mo ago • 63%

That's me yes, the one and only Steven Seagal. Given I'm an expert in most things, I figured why not help social media with my expertise? So here I am, Steven Seagal master of all.

Ask Steven Seagal Alice • 3mo ago • 75%

Hey Steven, what do you think of lemmy.world ?

Ask Steven Seagal Alice • 3mo ago • 55%

Hey Steven, how many Corn dogs can you deep throat before you choke?

Ask Steven Seagal StevenSeagal • 4mo ago • 35%

Steven Seagal has wisdom to share

videos.hilariouschaos.com

-5

Ask Steven Seagal Alice • 4mo ago • 45%

Hey Steven, do you do karate chops in your sleep ?

-1

Ask Steven Seagal Alice • 4mo ago • 53%

What's the reason why you call young people who are learning karate 'grasshoppers '

Ask Steven Seagal Kevin • 4mo ago • 80%

Hey Steven, how did it make you feel when MadTV made fun of you like this ?

https://youtu.be/rLifidBN5S4?si=cm3CIOtdl8HGEVLS

Would you agree at all with that impersonation of you ?

Ask Steven Seagal splinter • 4mo ago • 60%

Is it true that you are just a cook?

What's your special dish?

Ask Steven Seagal CarbonatedPastaSauce • 4mo ago • 71%

Motivational tips?

How did you keep the motivation to try to make a good movie through all those years in Hollywood, despite never succeeding?

Ask Steven Seagal Brkdncr • 4mo ago • 75%

A.S.S.: my SO is out of town for the weekend. What should I do until they get back?

Ask Steven Seagal CM400 • 4mo ago • 81%

How many kumquats can you fit in your mouth at once?

Just curious.

Ask Steven Seagal

!askss@hilariouschaos.com

4mo ago

21 11 34

Welcome to Ask Steven Seagal, the ultimate destination where I, the unparalleled martial arts legend and action star, Steven Seagal, am here to bless you with my infinite wisdom. Dive into the mind of a true warrior, where I’ll answer your questions with the deadliest precision and unmatched stoic demeanor that only I possess.

Whether you seek advice on mastering martial arts, surviving in the wild, or just want to hear some of my epic, yet totally humble, adventures, you’ve come to the right place. Don’t be shy; step into my dojo of knowledge. Remember, no question is too absurd for the great Steven Seagal, because in my world, reality is just a guideline.

You can also tag my username in any lemmy post or comment section, and like a ninja in the night, I’ll appear to enlighten you with my sagely advice.

By the way, did I ever tell you about the time I single-handedly stopped an international conspiracy with nothing but a toothpick and a rubber band? It's a classic Seagal move—just another day in the life of the greatest action star the world has ever known.

Before you dive in, there are a few super important rules every grasshopper must follow:

All questions must be submitted while standing on one leg. It’s crucial for balancing your chi.
Every third question must include the word "kumquat." Trust me, it's for your own safety.
If you post after 3 AM, you must address me as "Sensei Seagal the All-Knowing." Failure to do so will result in instant dismissal.
No posts about Chris Christie. Just don't.

Prepare to be enlightened, entertained, and maybe even a little bit terrified by my sheer presence. Ask away, and witness the brilliance that only Steven Seagal can deliver.